ABOUT ROBIN GURSE

I remember lying on my bed alone in the bedroom I shared with my younger sister, just about to finish the book, Johnny Got His Gun, completely aware of how it ends. (I was about 13 when I first read the book, I think for a school project.) This time, I fully feel the impact of my emotions and muffle my sobs, even though I am full of rage, grief, and sorrow about the complete senselessness of war.

This anti-war masterpiece, written by Dalton Trumbo, is a short, scathing novel that contributed to Mr. Trumbo's being blacklisted as a Hollywood screenwriter. (If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it for yourselves and your tween and teenage children; the movie is good, but the book is better.)

I felt all these feelings by myself, knowing that if I chose to, I could have gone to one or both of my parents who were in the house at the time. But I didn't feel safe going to them in that terribly vulnerable space; I didn't feel safe to fully express my feelings to the people I "should" have felt most comfortable going to.

Instead, I chose to shut down. Looking back, I now think I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my strong feelings, and didn't really know what to do with them. Also, I didn't believe my parents would understand why I was so upset. And I believed I would get the same message I had "heard" (read: interpreted) one too many times: "Robin, you're too sensitive." So why would I want to go to them?

Now I'm not blaming my parents or me, or my younger sister or older brother. That's just the way it was for me in my family in 1963.


Agoraphobia - And The Gift I Learned To Appreciate

In my early 20's, I felt like a failure as an adult. I knew I wasn't living up to my potential, but I didn't know why, and I was too ashamed of myself to discuss this with anyone. Fiercely independent, and terrified of not "looking good," I did my best to have a job, a boyfriend, women friends, and a normal life.

Then, when I was 26, I experienced a major panic attack and quickly developed agoraphobia - basically, the fear of having a panic attack in public. Fate, God, Higher Power - whatever you want to call it - brought me to my knees: After a month of white-knuckling it on my own, I began therapy. And for the first three months of therapy, I had to ask for help from others: I couldn't even drive or take a bus by myself to get to my twice-weekly sessions.

Years later, I realized that those hundreds of times of complete terror and apprehension, along with my shame for being so scared and incompetent, actually played a major part in my becoming an effective coach. I invested hours and hours in taking one step at a time to escape my "prison" of invisible, iron-like bars of fear and panic. And I came to see that my experiences were actually a gift I bring to my clients: the gift of humility, grace, compassion, and empathy.

The clients I saw when I began PassionWorks Coaching in 1987 primarily suffered the effects of procrastination in their personal and professional lives. They felt scared, stuck, overwhelmed, and ashamed. Usually, it became apparent they were perfectionists, afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone, and too ashamed to ask for help - just like me.

However - just like today when I coach families - I knew my clients wanted more than just a sympathetic, compassionate ear. So I also showed them how their attachment to their stories (and we all have our stories, don't we?) had become an excuse to behave the same way they'd been behaving, getting the same unsatisfying results over and over, and feeling trapped. Instead, I took a stand for their innate desire and ability to grow and expand, one step at a time - just like me.

And just as important, I brought something more to my clients: the ability to ignite their own excitement about their lives and courageously begin to take focused action, no matter how small a step.


Family Coaching: The Beginnings

About 15 years ago, a husband and wife hired me as a professional organizer in their home. I quickly realized helping them organize their desks, papers, and calendars was only a symptom of the attitudes, beliefs, and assumptions within the family system itself. And they were getting in the way of this family's day-to-day lives, as well as its long-term plans.

I cared deeply about these people and we began coaching sessions to address these as well as a variety of other family situations. Thus, my first Family Coaching clients, before there was anything called "Family Coaching."

Additionally, during this time period, I was moved to serve parents by designing and facilitating workshops (e.g., Families on Course: A Workshop for Conscious Parents). Not content to work only with adults, I volunteered to co-lead a junior high youth group and co-facilitate a course for teens: About Your Sexuality.


Family Life Makeover: Bringing Families Back To The Table

In 2006 I experienced an "aha" moment that led me to realize all the passion I had had for businesses (I had expanded PassionWorks Coaching to include entrepreneurs, city government officials, and family-owned businesses) was actually for families. This is how it happened: I coached two women of different generations, but with the same basic work/family balance issues. I saw how easily I identified with each of these women's issues, how connected I felt to them and, most importantly, how excited I felt.

Then, one day about a year later, I was searching online for a new career direction for myself. I came across a certification program that knocked my socks off. It was a Family Coaching Certification program from Resource Realizations, Inc. (resourcerealizations.com). I almost jumped out of my chair, I was so excited. Everything I read I yelled "YES! This is exactly what I believe in, this is exactly what I'm passionate about, and this is exactly what I want to do!"

Somehow I knew then that all the work I had done my entire life, as well as my own childhood experiences, was culminating right here, right now. For years I had identified my mission as "making it safe for people to express their emotions - especially the ones we're 'not supposed' to feel." I now saw that I could apply this mission to working with families.

And then, when I looked even deeper, where I would need to have the courage to be audacious about myself and who I considered myself to be, I saw that I had an even bigger mission:

To end war, one family at a time.

And so, I return to Johnny Got His Gun.

In the fall of 2007 I became certified as a Family Coach. In the spring of 2008, PassionWorks Coaching for Families became Family Life Makeover, and I am now ready to meet the needs of the myriad challenges faced by today's families.


Education and Professional Associations

I have a B.A. in Sociology from the University of California at Berkeley, and I am a Certified Family Coach through Resource Realizations, Inc. My current and previous professional associations include:

• Member, Professional Coaches and Mentors Association, Los Angeles Chapter
• Past Member, Board of Directors, East Bay Business and Professional Alliance
• Past President, El Cerrito Toastmaster's
• Past Member, National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO)
• Past Member, Bay Area Facilitators Guild
  
  Now that you know me a little better, and perhaps identify with part of my story, you may want to sign up for your Complimentary 30-minute Coaching Meeting.