Welcome to Family Life Makeover

Does your family need more hugs, laughter and acts of caring?
Are you unwittingly sabotaging your child's future?
Do you wish your family acted more like a team?

You're a smart, caring parent. You read the books and share with other moms and dads to keep up to date with the latest parenting advice. You're aware of how important it is to provide a nurturing, stable, and vital home life for yourself and your family.

And you're overscheduled and overwhelmed. And by the way, so is your spouse/partner (if you have one) and your child/children. You barely have the time or energy to do all the things on your To Do list, and by the end of the day, you feel exhausted, guilty, and inadequate. As much as you try, you can never do "enough," and you can't get the family to help out and act like "we're all in this together." In fact, they often resist you, ignore you, break their agreements, and sometimes actively rebel against you.

If you have a tween or teen in the home, their hormones may have taken over their previous personality and turned them into surly, highly-sensitive "strangers" who want nothing to do with you. And because you take it personally, it hurts. (It's normal teenage behavior.)

Or perhaps your problem isn't overwhelm - it's that you miss having more time together as a family. You yearn for healthy, fun, enlivening, family meals. If you have good memories of your own childhood dinners, you feel sad that now that you're a parent, you only have one or two - if that - family dinners together. And when you are together, more often than not, the "third parent" - media - is at the table with you: cell phones, text messages sent and received, telephones, the TV, and/or computer games. As each of you scrambles to meet the demands of your individual lives (school, work, home, sports, hobbies, exercise, and relationships, to name a few), your family becomes more fragmented and spends less enjoyable, valuable time together.

Consequently, you end up feeling out of control, resentful, unappreciated, inadequate, and/or guilty. (There's that guilt, again!) And when your head hits the pillow late at night, you wonder "Am I/are we teaching our child(ren) what they'll need so that they don't turn to drugs and alcohol, don't drop out of school, don't turn into bullies, don't choose to make a pregnancy pact with other girls and end up pregnant at 15.....?"

It may feel like your family is spiraling out of control. Each of you feels the effects of today's demanding, hectic, over-stimulated, and competitive culture. And while you each may have your own, individual ways of expressing your reactions to these outside influences, it adds up to more tension and anxiety with each other in the house.

You're savvy enough, however, to know that it's not just your family that is stressed out. We've all seen, heard, and read about the stunning rise of teen suicide (especially among gay and lesbian teens) and teens' addiction to prescription drugs obtained over the Internet to quell their anxiety. We know of instances of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, violence perpetrated by adolescents on younger children, and the increase in divorce. The rise in credit card debt is staggering, and within families becomes yet another trigger for fighting. Many jobs require employees to work longer hours and take on more responsibilities. According to data compiled by Forbes.com (4/25/08), we who live in Los Angeles hold the country's record for the most hours spent stuck in traffic (72 annually). Schools not only now assign more homework than they used to, but they're handing it out to younger and younger children. And then there's peer pressure, both for you, the parent, as well as for your child.

No wonder you're overwhelmed. But even though you may "know" it's not just your family, it feels like it is.

Just like so many other families, yours ends up with less time and energy to enjoy the most important people in your lives - each other. And when you do spend time together, the tension and anxiety don't necessarily go away. In fact, they may reveal themselves over seemingly insignificant discussions that turn into disagreements and outbursts. Where did that "togetherness" go, anyway?

Despite all these factors - many of which you have no control over - there is something you can do as a parent. You can learn how to become a conscious leader of your family.

You can learn how to become the kind of family leader you wish your own parents had been when you were growing up.

I know my parents did their best. And so did their parents. They didn't do anything wrong, and neither are you. In fact, many of you are already doing your very best to lead your family in the direction you believe is right for them. The problem is, it's still not working: they're not on board, they're not following you, and you don't know what to do.

You don't need therapy; but you do need professional help to be able to become the leader you need to become in order to create the family you always dreamed of.

Why do I focus on parental leadership? Because you're already leading your family. In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Families, Steven Covey states that, in fact, "parents can't not be leaders." By their very nature, parents model, mentor, and teach their children.

With every choice you make, in every area of your family's life, you are setting the standard. Your children's lives are at stake by the values, choices, and actions you present to them 365 days a year until they turn 18.

I'm not saying that you are responsible for their lives; they're making their own choices, too. But you, the parent(s), have the awesome job of creating a foundation for your children that raises the odds of their becoming their full, authentic selves - and loving who they become.

The question is, how satisfied are you with your choices up to now? As Dr. Phil would say, "Are they working for you?"

If you're dissatisfied, I will help. With my coaching, you will develop your unique leadership style for yourself, your partner/spouse, and each of your children. Sit down with your spouse and write down your answers to the following questions. Notice how you feel as you respond. Then read your answers to each other and see how well they match:

For over 20 years, my coaching clients have taken action consistent with their goals, vision, values, and dreams. As your Family Coach, I will promote your (and your spouse/partner's) ability to discover your inner leader by bringing your family back to the table - to share, to learn, to imagine, to create, to teach, to laugh, to set goals, to be. In order for you to release your inner leader, you need to practice with your family. They need to be there - with you - at the table. This is what is so exciting about Family Coaching: each family member participates. You learn, observe, create, share, and communicate together. Each one of you gets to have your say, to be heard, understood, and respected. You're all on the same page; and from now on, you'll all have a framework for living together that you can refer to again and again.

Simply put, my role as your Family Coach is to guide you to bridge the gap between where your family is now and where you want it to be in the future. I ensure that you and your partner/spouse:

My clients have the resources (time and funds) and are willing, ready, open, and committed to learning new ways of "doing family." They know that what they've been doing has gotten them to where they're at now and that they need to do something different. If Family Coaching sounds right to you, sign up to receive my free monthly Newsletter. Sign up for one of my programs, classes, or workshops. If you're not quite ready to jump in, and are serious and ready to make new choices for your family, sign up to receive a Complimentary, no-obligation 30-minute Coaching Meeting with me.

I look forward to meeting your unique, precious family and bringing you all back to the table.

Serving the Westside Los Angeles communities of Mar Vista, West Los Angeles, Culver City, Venice, Santa Monica, Brentwood, Westwood, Beverly Hills, and other communities throughout the greater Los Angeles area. I also offer services to clients throughout the United States and internationally.